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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I roll outta bed, grab my coffee, and head out. Karagandy is buzzing, as usual. I mean, it’s like a never-ending party here. I stroll down the streets, past the old buildings on Kabanbay Batyr Street. They’re all cracked and peeling, but there’s something charming about them, ya know? Like they’ve got stories to tell.

The 12th Serik Sapiyev Prizes Junior Tournament was a fantastic event in Karagandy and four nations shared the titles